got fake nails: ripped those suckers off within ten days
got shellac nails: 6 days in and they’re all (mostly) ripped off.
this has been a lifelong problem….pretty much my whole life. I was only made aware of it in grade three, when my teacher was giving me a talking to, and then mid sentence, looked down at my nails in horror and disgust and said “Erin, are you RIPPING YOUR NAILS?! You are, you’re ripping your nails off…”
and I looked down and sure enough, my fingers were at work tearing away at my nails. I didn’t even notice I was doing it. I literally had to look down to see what he was referring to and I thought “oh, is that what it is?”
I constantly tear them to the point where they bleed. Then once they grow out enough to polish, I try to polish them to motivate myself to not rip anymore. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Eventually I just can’t take it anymore and I have to start ripping them again.
Is this actually a thing? I’ve never confirmed it other than people looking at me in horror when I do it….
I get that it could be a form of self harm…I get the same release I did when I self harmed. but I haven’t found anything to confirm this. other than my current psychiatrist staring at my fingers frantically ripping my nails during every session and never saying anything…
any ideas on how to stop?
I’ll take it! (new charming baby perhaps?) But I really want it to be Emma.